Alone As You Choose To Be
by Lightsaberss
Summary: After receiving a threat, Roy has to stay at Riza's for the night.


It was early morning, and the majority of the day staff at Eastern Command had yet to arrive. The halls were relatively silent, and Riza's footsteps echoed as she walked the familiar route down to the mail room. There was the possibility that the mail hadn't been sorted yet, but she needed something to occupy her time with before the Colonel arrived, and opening the mail had seemed appropriately mindless for the time of day, as well as being moderately productive.

The Staff Sergeant didn't look surprised to see her, maybe it wasn't that unusual for her to be in at this time, and that's wasn't a thought that brought her happiness considering the reason why she was there in the first place. Her nightmares came and went, and some nights they were just frustrating interruptions to an otherwise peaceful sleep, and there were nights like last night when they chased away sleep completely, leaving her shaken and unwilling to close her eyes again in case they returned.

"Mail for Colonel Mustang's office, please." She requested, and then signed and dated the form in exchange for the small bundle of mail.

Most of it was internal; memos sent to every department, reports they'd requested for various reasons, and other miscellaneous bits that she'd open, read, and then file away in the various relevant places. There were only three bits of external mail; a large manilla envelope that had been strangely addressed to both her and the Colonel, a box that sounded like it contained radio repair parts for Fuery, and what felt like a book for Falman.

Riza waited until she was in the office, and at her desk, before she started opening the mail. She'd just finished all the internal post when the rest of the team started coming in to work. She greeted each of them as they arrived, and none of them were surprised that she was already there and had already started working. She handed Fuery and Falman their packages as they came in, and called Breda 'an absolute life saver' when he arrived with everyone's regular coffee order from the shop down the street.

The Colonel arrived last, and it earned him a reproachful look from Riza, which caused the rest of the team to attempt to look busy. Riza grabbed the envelope, as well as the diary and the relevant items that she needed to bring to his attention, and followed him into his adjacent office. She closed the door behind her with a click, and the Colonel flung himself down into his chair.

"Rough night?" She asked, curiously.

"It's fine, what's the plan for the day?" He said, and waved the question away. Riza knew him better than to pry, she knew that meant _yes_ , but that he didn't want to talk about it. At least not yet, or maybe just not with her. If it went on for a few days, and she had suffered through enough of his (and her own) bad dreams and insomnia to know that it could last a while, she'd prod Hughes into talking him out of it. For now though, she'd let him get away with it.

"We got this in the mail," Riza said, and handed the envelope over to him before she perched on the edge of his desk and opened the diary to today's date. She wasn't looking at him as he opened the mail, trying to decipher Havoc's untidy scrawl - when will those boys stop making appointments without her approval? - she was about to go and explain to the Second Lieutenant that there was an appointment procedure for a reason, when Roy's sudden intake of breath caused her to freeze and look at him.

He wasn't looking at her, but at the contents of the envelope. Photographs had spilled over his desk, and they were all of him. Taken unknowingly as he went about his life, pictures of him going to and from work, of him _at home_ eating dinner, reading books, working out, and as Riza flicked through them, even a picture of him sleeping.

"I'm calling the team in." Riza said decisively, and went to the door.

"Wait." Riza's hand was almost on the door handle, but she let it drop to her side.

"Sir. With all due respect, if whoever this is can photograph you, they can shoot you. I can't investigate this and watch your back at the same time." She said, and only turned to face him after she spoke. "They don't need to see the photo's, Colonel, but we need them to find whoever this is."

The Colonel nodded, and Riza opened the door, and summoned the team in with a swift inclination of her head. She waited until they'd made themselves comfortable and then glanced at the Colonel for his approval to continue. It took him a beat longer than it would have if it was _her_ in those photos, which was a thought Riza was happy to compartmentalise away and ignore.

"The Colonel's received a threat this morning, more than likely work related, but it's credible and needs to be investigated." Riza summed up. She hesitated before going further, and the Colonel, who normally gave the orders, jumped in.

"The area opposite my house needs investigating. Someone might have been seen loitering with a camera -"

"Wait, the threat involved photos? Should we be talking to Hughes?" Havoc joked, but quickly shut up after a glare from her.

"Yes, they sent photos, and as Hawkeye so succinctly pointed out; if they can take a photo, they can shoot me." Mustang said. "We also need to pull some old files, anyone that might hold a particular grudge against me. I'll write up a list."

Riza had stuck to him all day. She'd acted like his constant shadow, a familiar pair of eyes watching his back. She'd stood between him and the windows as they walked through the corridors of Eastern Command, placing herself between the unseen danger and him. They'd talked about using a safe house, but decided on a double bluff just in case he was being watched at work. It would be easy enough to pull off, although it did mean he would have to stay at her place for the unforeseeable future.

Even though it was her idea, and there were a lot of reasons why it made sense for him to be here, it wasn't something she was thrilled about. It wasn't having the Colonel there that was the real problem, she'd spent years as a teenager with him living under her father's roof, and there had been a number of undercover missions where they'd stayed in close quarters together. While having him close by presented it's own set of personal problems, she didn't mind that it was _him_. It was just that she was tired and wanted nothing more than to relax. There was no way she could do that now.

Riza entered her apartment in the dark, and quickly went from room to room, and closed all the blinds before she reached for any of the light switches. If they were being watched, if someone had followed them instead of the other car, then they wouldn't be able to see in. At the very least, their privacy was as ensured as she could make it.

If she's been alone, she'd flop onto the sofa, let Black Hayate lie on her stomach and try to fall asleep. Let the comforting warmth of another being lull her into comfort, and hopefully a dreamless sleep. But she wasn't alone, and the Colonel looked just as exhausted as she felt, not to mention that he was her responsibility.

"Hungry?" Riza asked as she unbuttoned her uniform jacket and discarded it over the back of her sofa. Her boots had been left by the front door, but she was still wearing her guns. The lingering need to protect him, even in the safety of her home, kept them on her body and within easy reach. The guns in her apartment were rarely left loaded for safety's sake, but for tonight she'd make an exception.

"Depends on what you're going to cook." Mustang's jacket joined hers, and Riza was struck by how domestic this would've looked to an outsider. Both of them walking around her apartment in their socks, only half dressed in their uniform after a long day. She was glad she'd closed the blinds, and that no one else could see this. That it was a moment just for them.

"Chicken and some vegetables. I leave the fancy cuisine to you going out with your fancy ladies." Riza teased.

"They're not that fancy, and my favourite, Elizabeth, has been busy. Something to do with the boss at that boutique she works at." So he wasn't too tired - or too stressed by this morning's delivery - to tease her back, that was good.

"I'm sure he's terrible." Riza deadpanned. "Come on, you can peel the potatoes."

They worked in companionable silence to make their meal. It wasn't the first time they'd cooked together, there had been nights during their childhood where they'd worked side by side to feed themselves, but it had been years since then.

"What is it?" He asked. It sometimes surprised her, how attuned they could be to one another, how sometimes it felt like he could just tell when her thoughts had wandered.

"I was just thinking about when we were younger." Riza said. It wasn't a subject that they talked about often. Sometimes late at night when they were the only two left in the office, or if she'd a particularly bad night relating to her father. It was mostly talked about in vague comments, like a shorthand conversation that only the two of them understood.

"Remember that time I tried to bake cookies to welcome you back from school?"

"How could I forget? You almost burned the kitchen down." Riza smiled at the memory.

"I did not!" Mustang insisted.

"Fine," Riza agreed. "But the smell of burned cookies lingered for days."

"It's a good thing we're not baking cookies then, isn't it?"

"My poor kitchen would never survive it." Riza said.

It was late by the time they'd finished eating, sat close together on her small battered sofa. Close enough that their knees touched, and elbows caught each others when they were paying more attention to their food than their proximity to one another. It was late, and Riza wanted to sleep, but she couldn't. His life was potentially in her hands tonight, and she wouldn't let him down.

"Sir, you should get some sleep. Take my bed, I'll stay up and keep watch." Riza said, and slipped her guns from her holsters and placed them on the coffee table with a dull thud.

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed, Lieutenant."

"You're correct, sir. I'm giving it to you." Riza pointed out, with business like practicality. "You look tired. Get some rest, if nothing's happened in the next four hours then we can swap."

Honestly, Riza had no intention of waking him up. Even if he was handling the situation well, he looked like he hadn't slept at all the night before, and she wasn't about to interrupt his sleep tonight if she didn't have to.

"Leave the light on in here and come to bed too." Mustang said. Her eyes widened slightly at the implications, and she could feel her skin heating up.

"Sir, I don't think that's appropriate." It wouldn't be the first time they'd shared a bed. There had been missions where they bedded down together, so exhausted that they could feel it in their bones. Missions where they did it out of necessity. They'd never done it out of choice before, and while the thought of him in her bed was intoxicating (for all the _wrong_ reasons), Riza was afraid that this would cross a line. That it would inch them closer to breaking those fraternization laws that stopped her from kissing him, from touching him, and from pulling him into her bed.

Riza didn't want to break those rules, because there would be no coming back from it. They were already too close for some people, getting closer would just make it worse for him, harder for him to achieve everything they wanted to.

"It's just a bed, Lieutenant." He assured her. "I promise to stay on my side. Plus, you look as tired as I feel."

"Last night wasn't…" Riza trailed off. She didn't need to explain it to him, and she _was_ tired. Not exhausted in her bones tired, but sleep would be welcome.

"Hayate can keep watch, I'm sure he'll bark up a storm if someone tries to break in," The Colonel pointed out. "Come on."

Riza nodded and followed him into the bedroom in silence. They undressed awkwardly, backs turned to each other although, at least in her case, it was nothing the other hadn't seen before. She dumped her uniform into the hamper after changing into a worn tank top and shorts. Her tattoo peeked above the neckline, but here, with him, it didn't bother her.

They slid into bed in silence. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, and it took all of her restraint not to shift closer to him. Not to touch his bare skin. Not to press her lips against the curve of his neck. Not to run her hands down his bare chest, towards his shorts. It took all of her restraint to turn her back to him. She could feel his eyes on her, could feel his hand hovering inches above her, and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to pull away - it would be safer - or to touch her and break away their self imposed barrier.

"Goodnight, Riza." He whispered in the darkness, and she felt him move to lie with her back to hers.

"Goodnight, Roy." She whispered softly.


End file.
